Have you ever noticed that some people only seem to reach out when they need something?
At first, it's easy to excuse.
"They're just busy."
"They've got a lot going on."
"I understand."
Then weeks turn into months, and a pattern begins to appear.
You realize you're always the one checking in.
Always making plans.
Always giving grace.
Always carrying the conversation.
That's when an uncomfortable question surfaces:
Am I being chosen... or am I simply convenient?
There's a big difference.
Being chosen feels intentional.
People make time for what matters to them.
They don't leave you guessing where you stand.
They don't make you compete for consistency.
Convenience, on the other hand, is conditional.
You're included when it's easy.
You're remembered when something is needed.
You're appreciated... until effort becomes inconvenient.
The hardest part is that many of us mistake availability for love.
We think if we keep giving, eventually things will balance out.
Sometimes they do.
Sometimes they don't.
Healthy relationships don't require one person to keep proving their value.
Love shouldn't feel like an audition.
Friendship shouldn't feel one-sided.
Family shouldn't require you to lose yourself to keep the peace.
One of the greatest acts of self-respect is recognizing the difference between someone who enjoys having access to you and someone who genuinely values you.
Those are not the same thing.
Today, ask yourself:
Who consistently chooses me?
And just as importantly...
Who am I consistently choosing?
Because the healthiest relationships are built when both people answer those questions the same way.
Mirror Moment
Before you leave...
Ask yourself:
Am I holding onto this relationship because I'm truly valued... or because I'm hoping one day I will be?
Sit with that question.
Sometimes clarity is the beginning of healing.
Always Remember...
Protect your Life.
Guard your Love.
Never Play About Your Hustle.
💜 Yolanda "Yoli" Jefferson
Founder, LifeLoveHustle
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